jointstereotype: I feel another Flash tirade coming on.

rygar: OMFG. What's set you off this time?

jointstereotype: The blatant overuse of pointless Flash animations and menus that has all but robbed the Internet of its functionality.

rygar: You think everything is being blatantly overused. Cell phones and deodorant, for example.

jointstereotype: I have nothing against deodorant. I'm merely allergic to propylene glycol. And I think cell phones are a nifty idea, even though the people who use them are becoming social addicts terrified of even a moment's sensory deprivation—and I think Flash would be a hundred times cooler if I didn't have to interrupt listening to the Blade Runner Trilogy every time I check my friends' MySpace profiles.

rygar: If it weren't for MySpace players, you'd never know there are other composers out there besides Vangelis.

jointstereotype: Mocketh not that which is composed by Vangelis.

rygar: I have nothing against Vangelis. I'm merely allergic to synthesizer music in general.

jointstereotype: Why doesn't that surprise me? A cell phone / Flash / deodorant junkie such as yourself has probably never even considered listening to the spaces between the sounds. Man.

rygar: Are you finished with your little tirade?

jointstereotype: Almost. I'm writing the webmaster of the Acer technical support site a nasty letter. I don't think it's fair that you have to have Flash installed in order to download drivers. It's a technical support site for Gates' sake! Flash is for artists and musicians who need to gloss over their obvious lack of talent with a lot of spinning, rippling, flashing sideshow fluff.

rygar: Oh, so that's why your site is about as visually stunning as the copyright page of an instruction manual.

jointstereotype: I let the content speak for itself—accessibility is the rule, something Acer might do well to consider.

rygar: Maybe Acer is, as you say, merely glossing over its obvious lack of talent.

jointstereotype: And maybe their webmaster simply doesn't know the difference between a Web site and a Flash site. In fact, I think sites should announce up front whether they're Web or Flash. That way you'd know from the start what you're getting yourself into.

rygar: Sounds like this is the start of an anti-Flash campaign.

jointstereotype: Could be.

rygar: To make your point, then, I recommend that you strip naked and walk up and down Main St. carrying a "flashing against Flash" sign.

jointstereotype: Why naked?

rygar: You say Flash is a cheap trick to conceal bad content, so your clothes are merely cheap threads to cover a bad physique. If you've got nothing to hide, why would you need clothes to conceal your content? And so forth. It's symbolic.

jointstereotype: Did you decide upon signing on that you were going to give me a hard time or did it just sort of develop naturally over the course of the conversation?

rygar: I outlined first, then improvised.